Ass Magazine

This website is not affiliated with anyone. Not a government, not a corporation, not even a mildly competent adult supervision. It’s just a pile of digital nonsense, written out of spite.

Nothing here should be taken seriously—unless, of course, you choose to take it seriously, in which case that’s entirely on you. We are not responsible for your sense of offense, your fragile ego, or your uncanny ability to find problems where there are clearly just jokes.

If you’re offended, insulted, or feel personally attacked… perfect. Now click away, close the tab, throw your device in a lake—whatever works. Just don’t come back. Go find a hobby. Birdwatching, maybe.

This is not a safe space. It’s not a productive space. It’s not even a particularly clean space. It’s just Ass Magazine—and if that name didn’t clue you in, you probably shouldn’t be here.

Now leave us be. We’re busy writing crap that doesn’t matter.

– The Editor